by the way

i did it. i let him have me sans barrier.

i felt safe. STD wise, that is.

i think it probably affects my emotions more. i've never given that to anyone that wasn't...my partner. don't get me wrong, when i was young i effed up and didn't use condoms properly every single time...but i never went out of my way to plan and take the pill and give that up.

i just wanted to be close to him. so close. and i was.

perhaps too close.