just fall on your knees

i am such a roller coaster.
i spend each and every day on a TEXTPECTATION. i'm pathetic. il bello send me pictures throughout his day...and i do the same. i told him last night on the phone when he told me that "i'm entirely too far away," that i disagreed. i thought the timing was right for us to be far apart. really what it comes down to is that if he was HERE, i'd be even more gaga over him. i'd want to be all up in his shit all the time, and whether he was interested or not, it'd be all-consuming for me. i mean, it is, even from here, 20 hours apart.
last night i had the hottest phone sex. he just tells me how it is. so many hot, enticing images. he made me get out my vibrator!!! and i'm such a writer, it makes me so bashful to have to SAY sexy things out loud...makes me blush in the dark. and i loved it.
such a blessing. i am so grateful to have that in my life, undefined as it is. i've been praying and praying for passion, and the universe brought it to me.