ask and you shall receive

i am a flower, and apparently it's pollenation season, because i have lots of buzzing bees.
the monster (il bello, that's his other name) is still kickin. sends me adorable pictures of himself snuggling, masturbating, working, just being. adorable. i do the same. and...i bought him a ticket to go to a wedding with me on the east coast in june!!! so, i have a prize on my arm, and someone to talk to in a place where i'll know no one. and it's gonna be perfect. just less than 48 hours, many of which i'll be tied up, not by him teehee, but doing wedding stuff. so it will leave us wanting more, which i think is the point.
also, he asked me to bareback. which is INSANE that i'm pondering it, considering that he's boy-friendly. i mean, he hasn't done the deed with a dude yet, and i feel like we have a cool enough thing going that he'd tell me if he did, but it's just HIGH RISK. (this is my professional training coming out, or perhaps a personal bi-as?? i dunno though, numbers are numbers and they rarely lie.) when you get an HIV test, there is no question on there that asks about your sexual orientation. the quesiton is, DO YOU HAVE SEX WITH MEN?. and i suppose thus far his answer is no. but i kind feel like my bello monstruo is gonna end up that adorable (yes, he's so adorable!) kid in the bathhouse who everyone makes fun of (and then comes out). whatevs. in the mean time, i'll have fun fantasizing about him being my stay at home husband (open relationship, of course, this is my fantasy) and me being the breadwinner, career woman. he can stay at home and write (and take care of the kids if he INSISTS we have them) and i'll make the paper go boo-boo. and i'll come home in my power suit and heels to a sexy hairy man in a house dress. in his words "follow your green martini with a rude shove to the couch". yee haw.
what's up with this? do i only rebound with my reflection?? or should i really be trying to end up with someone like this...like me??
anyway, i'm learning to just accept his love, in the moment, and not worry about everything else. i prayed and prayed for passion. i have symbols painted all over my life to remind me of my goal. and it came along, so i need to take it. i need to remember that i'm in no place for a real relationship ANYWAY, so this is perfect. i'll take my tender, saucy, snuggling, sexy boy from afar. ugh, i can't wait to have those painted nails down my back.
anyway, june is gonna be my month. i have a guaranteed lay at the beginning of the month, i have a potential lay when my ex-girlfriend comes to visit (and if she looks good i'm gonna rage it. best sex ever was her.), and then when i'm back in my home state i have another potential with another sexy exey. this one got a BUNCH of tattoos since we banged, so i REALLY wanna do him now. mmm. he even has one on his dick!! should i give him a name?? eh, not yet. lol.
anyway, i asked, and i received. i even got asked out on email the other day at work. i get asked about about once a day now. on fire. love it. pink and red and calaveras and mandalas and prayers and everything i can to conjure it up. love love love.