nasty

unfortunately, i'm not talking about the good, hot kind of nasty.
i mean, seriously? i totally do it. i'm a nasty girl. i push...ok i'm probably not THAT bad. there's other women out there that are way worse. but, i push buttons, on purpose, to be mean, to get attention. to retain attention. i don't get it.
so, yesterday was wednesday and he did NOT stay over. we had a good night at work, we came home, we hung out for a bit, and he tucked me in. clothed. really, my stomach was KILLING me, and i had to get up at 4:30, and he had some shit going on in the lab. so it wasn't the best night, we rescheduled for saturday.
ugh. this is crazy.
just after i wrote how mean i am i started to text him an apology, cuz really i felt bad. but then he called me mid-message creation, and i got to tell him...and he told me he's going to see avatar with his stupid boyfriend!! we tried to go together twice and it kept being sold out. we even tried to go last weekend, since we've been broken up! ugh.
i'm an ass. i'm sitting here thinking how i don't want to go eat at my friend's cuz "everyone else" is gonna be there but him, and i'll miss him like crazy. and he's off planning to do something he was supposed to do with me!!
"it just didn't work out. we tried."
what a metaphor...for our relationship.