idk

idk, what a day.
i'm not sure where that one went. i started by calling my guy, and bitching about my bff. how the only reason we're not spending time together is her. then, i went to the state house of reps where they voted to can my job.
what else can i say. i'm not even sad anymore. i'm laughing. like, really? really??? what next? bring it on.
i was totally looking for my future husband today at the house though. i saw him twice, but they both were married. already. and i don't go for married men- anymore. (that's a very long back story.) anyway, i was looking for a hot activist man (or woman). an outspoken one. a sexy one.
i texted with the professor crush a bit when i was waiting at the house listening to the other lonnnnnnnnng winded bills before the one i gave a shit about. he's so weird. lately. he engages up to a point- but then bails. i can't figure out why he doesn't want to actually see me- either he wants it to be so easy and has realized that's it's not gonna be that way with me so he's lost intrest (but still thinks it's fun to string me along), OR he really actually likes me and thinks that the timing is still not quite right (maybe cuz my break-up is still so fresh?). i'm banking on the first one but i'd still like to at least get laid after this 3 year *thing* we have.
anyway, i was thinking of him today because being at a place like the house of reps would ONLY be fun with him. everything would be funny if he were there. we would make fun of everyone. i would enjoy myself, only to be crushed by the news of my job's fate. and then he would have made me laugh about the pig proposing the bill fucking me over, and he'd fuck me...and at least i'd be smiling at the end of the night. at least.
blah, blah blah...fantasy land. i lived in fantasy land through my entire relationship. much of it with this guy. ay. what to do...