blowing off work

i am sick of being a fool for you, time after time.

you are the presiding insignificance on this stage where i dance.

i am working on building an apparent shell. i realize my infinite compassion prevents me from the benefit of an actual barrier, yet the arrangement of that which emulates a layer of protection will still offer me solace.

right??

i am not well. i am obsessively indulgent. i am inattentive to the core. my eyes are on the clouds, my head is considering my sunburn, whilst my raft is about to go over the falls.

i am a simple, desperate, misguided, frivolous, hopeless, damaged, cowardly, and unattached person for loving you.

i deserve nothing.

and you certainly don't deserve me- none of me.

i am ill with the will to hold me back from you.

perhaps then i can rebuild my temple.